10 Commandments of Human Relations

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       I.            Speak kindly to people.  There is nothing as a kind word of acknowledgment.

    II.            Smile to people. It takes 65-72 muscles to frown. Only 15 to smile.

  III.            Call people by name. The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of his/her name.

  IV.            Be friendly and helpful. If you would have friends, be friendly.

     V.            Be cordial. Speak and act as if everything you do is a true pleasure.

  VI.            Be genuinely interested in people. You can like everybody if you like.

 VII.            Be generous with praise but cautious with criticism. Never criticize, scold or correct anyone in public.

 VIII.         Be considerate of the feelings of others. Considering their feelings will be highly appreciated.

  IX.            Be thoughtful of the opinion of others. There are 3 sides to a controversy: yours, the other fellow’s and the right one.


     X.            Be alert to give service. What matters most in life is what we do for others.

Profile of a leader and a bossy head

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Each person has its own behavior, this behavior is the product of the person’s distinct blend of necessities and insights. Each person sees a different world and has different insights about the things around us that reflect that distinct blend of needs or necessities that excites our behavior.

Our behavior in leading a team or an organization mostly affects the result of our actions, our perceptions affects the way how we lead people. Here are some profile of an effective leader and its comparison with a bossy head.

Leader	Boss
Encourages passion	Dominates his members
Leads his members	Pushes his members
Builds the outcome on teamwork and unity	Builds the outcome on dictatorship
Always thinks of the team	Always thinks of himself
Always say “WE can do it”	Always say “YOU can do it”
Directs the organization without coercion	Directs the organization with force
Gets the people’s favor	Depends on the power of the position
Fixes mistakes	Always looking for the one who will be blamed for the mistake
Brings out the confidence of the members	Keeps the members fearful.

If you are holding a position in an organization which of these characteristics do you have in leading your team to achieve your organization's goals?

The Value of listening

"The art of listening is something we all must learn if we want to improve our perception of events and issues happening around us every day."
                                                                                     - Ruzel Nunez

One of the foundations to have a good relationship is to carefully listen, if you are considering yourself a leader, your ear must be ready to listen to others because there's a lot of benefits that we can get from listening.

From the book of John Maxwell  Relationship 101 states that listening shows respect. We often ignore others because we always want to impress others or we want to be someone who always at the center, in order to show respect to others we must also focus on the things that they can offer to us.

Listening builds relationship. We can have more friends if we really know how to listen, we can establish connection with others that will eventually result to a sounder and more intimate relationship.

Listening is a great way of showing your service to others. Listening can help others by knowing their needs and simultaneously you are also helping yourself to have a strong relationship, reap important ideas and level up your understanding about life.

as we go on living our lives, people are talking and we can hear them, did we listen?

Leader or Dictator?

“He that thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only taking a walk.”

― John C. Maxwell

"The top-down attitude is defined by people who believe that everyone should serve them, as opposed to believing they should be serving others within the institution."  (Hanz Finzel,author, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make).  Some leaders of today think that they are leading, they move people by believing that others should serve them, some think that because they are more educated, knowledgeable and positioned they are more superior than others, some don’t want to listen to others' opinion and some have a self-centered attitude. Are they really leading or dictating?

Leadership has something to do with influencing people, to influence people leaders must establish a good relationship with others, they must encourage others by helping them prove themselves, looking at them not as subordinates but as teammates.

To start a good relationship, begin by respecting others by placing value on them because they are also human beings like us, when we respect people we are positioned to develop trust, without trust we cannot maintain a good relationship or even any relationship. A give-and-take mindset must always be present, we must consider what others say or give in order for them to consider us also.

            In order to be an effective leader, start by serving others and lead by example, maintain integrity and excellence in order to get other’s trust, appreciate efforts exerted by the members of the team and respect their opinion.

            Assess yourself, are you a leader or a dictator?